


different kinds of hurt

by meios



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Cullen repents while Mana heals, F/M, Lowercase, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-04 12:16:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5333765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meios/pseuds/meios
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>cullen and mana have had similar kinds of hurt. but hers was somewhat caused by him.<br/>he repents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	different kinds of hurt

“did you really despise us that much?” she asks, disbelieving, hurt.  
  
“yes.”  
  
“that we were less than people to you? not even fit to be animals?”  
  
“yes.”

  
“deserving of the healing  _cock_  of the chantry? but only when we fought back was it worth it? only when we screamed and cried and broke were we repenting?”  
  
“flidais, no, never–”  
  
“why was she held down and torn apart, cullen? multiple times?”  
  
“i don’t–”  
  
“were mages so barbaric to you that they blended into one?”  
  
“the circle–”  
  
“–was not the only traumatic event in history, cullen.”  
  
“but–”  
  
“enough. you have spoken and shared. now it is my turn. i have seen your nightmares, and i have witnessed your crimes. this is not a trial, not a judgement. i– i simply need to understand. i don’t want excuses or justifications. just the truth: why didn’t you stop it?”  
  
“i…”  
  
“cullen.”  
  
“i never knew. i swear it, i never knew!”  
  
“did hawke know?”  
  
“no. there were only rumors.”  
  
“what of anders?”  
  
“doubtful.”  
  
“the missing ones.”  
  
“i know their names.”  
  
“but not their faces.”  
  
“only the skeletons in the fade.”  
  
“did you ever…?”  
  
“ _no_! no! i would never…”  
  
“and yet?”  
  
“and yet she was still held down and pulled apart.”  
  
“and yet she was still an animal to you.”  
  
“flidais…”  
  
her eyes are glass, terrariums, water evaporated and clinging to the sides. “all of my life, and the lives before mine, i have been an animal. a halla, a wolf, a mabari, a doe. a dog. a rat.  _shemlen_  have only seen me as vermin. plucked the flowers from my hair and took happiness with them–equated my ears to blades, but they stare not into my eyes. they never listened to my words.  
  
“i am sharper than my ears, commander. you may have changed sides, may have seen the error of your ways, but you have not repented. the chantry has destroyed my people. tevinter has destroyed my culture. humans have invaded my lands, our lands, and sucked the magic from its soil.  _we are the last of the elvhen_ , commander, and i will be  _damned_  if i don’t wear it proudly.  
  
“you and your men have ripped this from my sister. she wears nothing. she is nude and vulnerable behind her raven-feather cloak. where i was held down and forced into the earth, buried alive in a box that i burned, tormented by demons that my brother has kept at bay, she was forced into stone, into pain.  
  
“she will not be violated again, cullen. your apologies will not  _cease_. her forgiveness is not your goal. it is the ability to live with yourself.”  
  
silence. trembling words.  
  
“now leave.”

**Author's Note:**

> "#AND HE GOES TO KIRKWALL AND HE REPENTS #HE OPENS HIMSELF UP AND HE FINDS HER SISTER THERE AND HE LISTENS TO HER AND LETS HER HURT WITH HIM #AND FLIDAIS HAS NEVER EVER INVALIDATED CULLEN'S TRAUMA #BUT SHE WILL NOT SIT AROUND AND LET HER BABY SISTER SUFFER ALONE AS SHE LOVES THE MAN THAT WITNESSED EVERYTHING #SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH THE FLAME BUT NOT THE FIRE AND HE FELL IN LOVE WITH THE GREEN IN HER EYES #HE COMES BACK AND SHE WILL BE WAITING #I AM SHARPER THAN MY EARS COMMANDER"


End file.
